Home ... that's all it's about. Coming home.

The death of a friend

2006-10-06T13:23:00.000+08:00

There's probably nothing more traumatic in life, in my book, than the death of someone I know. Be it in the circle of influence that I have or someone I just happen to know etc. Taking a leaf from Ms.Redd's blog, I will no longer name ANYONE in my blog, unless I am friggin shit pissed with that person. Although ... I would not specify the car la babe ... that one seriously someone who sit fucking pissed me off babe ... I would give house and office addresses and cell phone numbers etc la. Make their life miserable. =) ha ha ...

Anyways, back to the topic. August 11th was someone whom I enjoyed spending time with because of her views on life and also what I could learn from her. Sure August 11th has her moments of being a real bitch, a real cow and what not ... she also had her moments of glory, i.e. stopping a car in the middle of the road to help a disabled man across the street, to hail a cab etc. I wasn't and am not exactly a poster boy for being a good and fantastic human being and I don't claim to be :P. Whatever it is, I confided a lot in August 11th about my frustrations, stresses, family matters whatever. Truly, one of the few friends that I have aside from July 3rd, July 24th and September 9th. Last month, when October 3rd and July 3rd went to Europe, I received a letter from October 3rd detailing some 'life lessons' etc and all the information ... ALL ... and I mean ALL the information that I have ever divulged, discussed etc ... all were revealed. In a way that not only made me realize that there isn't truly anyone that you can trust in this world except yourself and that it had finally happened. A friendship that I treasured ... was finally dead. No longer will I subject myself to this torment. This job. This team. This company. Enough is enough.

David Copperfield ...

2006-09-28T08:45:00.000+08:00

... he ain't HALF the magician that the Lord is. He made the Statue of Liberty dissapear behind some mirrors / cloth? God makes the KLCC Twin Towers and the Maxis dissapear with WATER. How cool is that?

My furry friend and me ...

2006-09-28T08:41:00.000+08:00

... Patches. I love that name. More than that ... I love that dog. She's a sweetheart. Adorable. Even after you smack her for diving through the rubbish heap and coming out smelling like yesterday's Nasi Lemak. *urgh*

She's my bestest friend. Ain't she something else? :)

Chaik ...

2006-09-05T19:02:00.000+08:00

I got tagged by the Redd Airport ... celaka.

AWESOME PEOPLE I WANT TO MEET

1. Oprah Winfrey
2. Steve Jobs
3. Blizzard Art Team

THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT

1. Music
2. Family & Friends
3. Images / Photos that speak to my soul *ahem*
4. Books
5. Air - Go Figure

I WISH I COULD

1. Cure cancer and AIDS
2. Be more 'leong dou'
3. Write several best sellers
4. Be a better photographer
5. Scuba Dive / Sky Dive / Bungee Jump

I WANT

1. to live in USA / NZ
2. to be a happier person
3. to be more at peace in life
4. to buy my own homes
5. to have a successful Book Cafe

SONGS THAT I THINK ARE AWESOME

1. Peter Pan - Mungkin Nanti
2. God or Julie - Say Your Last Goodbye
3. Snow Patrol - How To Be Dead
4. Il Divo - Mama
5. Tracy Byrd - Keeper Of The Stars

HOW I SEE MYSELF IN 10 YEARS

1. slimmer, fitter, healthier
2. taking care of my kids
3. enjoying my successful book cafe with my family and friends
4. financially independent and successfully living life to my rules
5. renovating my NZ home

RANDOM FACTS

1. I'm a closet WoW fan
2. I used to be terrified of cockroaches (I'd jump on tables :P ... seriously)
3. I'm happy being single
4. I support Piracy first ... LOL ... then if it's good I buy the original unlike Redd Airport
5. On holidays, I tend to stop every five minutes to take a mental picture

MISCONCEPTIONS

1. I am nice to everyone
2. I'm the older brother
3. I'm a very practical person (seriously ... i'm much more a romantic at heart)
4. I will always be sensitive ... (you wouldn't believe the shit i have to put up with)
5. I'm not fit / not healthy (hello ... I climbed Mount Kinabalu in time with everyone else :P )

I AM BERTAGGING :

1. Wabbit
2. Angel Eyes

i don't have many to tag. unless if i could tag the people i want to meet. haha.

Find it ...

2006-09-05T08:45:00.000+08:00

... someway ... somehow. That's HOW it's done Ms. Redd.
Life in general is TOUGH. Nothing like the pinky assed shit that our parents had to go through - asides from the communist occupation, world war 2 etc. Actually, don't think ANY of our parents went through WWII except for Ah Mah. But in THEIR eyes, their life WAS tough ... they just ain't seeing things through OUR lenses, not an easy task by any means.

But getting back to your recent emo-filled post, which is totally understandable ... even applaudable seeing as how you had the presence of mind to actually verbalize it. Firstly babe, I AM sorry to hear about Precious ... pets of any kind ... furry, scaly, feathered, all leave a significant footprint in our heart and it's not easy to outlive them. You're kinda like a parent outliving your kid. Sucks. Big time. Remember that I was the one who had to take Champ to the vet to be put down due to old age and I don't think I ever felt so ................................... blergh. And he wasn't even my dog. Not only that ... he was the one who would greet me happily everyday after college when I went home to Ah Mah's home ... and he was the most cheerful little thing on two feet. But I digress.

You WILL find it in you to remember her and keep her in your heart ... just like we all do with Ah Mah. I sure miss her sorely, and all I need TO do is to remember all the things that she stood for, actually everything la. Just last weekend, I drove around Bangsar and Lucky Garden remembering all the things and places we used to go to / visit. Maybe ... what you could do NOW, whilst Precious is still here is to spend as much time as you can with her. Make her feel even more extra special. The memories will be even that more sweet. Redd, the more time you have with her ... the more you WILL cherish that time with her. I know. My mama had cancer too you remember? Nothing beats just spending time with your loved one doing small things ... playing catch, cuddling (with your dog, not my mom :P), anything. Take more pictures. Set up a photo album. Take her for walks in the park - anythings good Redd ... she just wants to be with you. Take this chance. Seize it.

Call me if you need to talk yeah? :)

About your Mom ... I reckon you KNOW how she is ... and because of the stress YOU are under, what she fires out ... is even more ... 'significant'. Do your best to put things in perspective aight? Parents tend to take the mickey outta you ... I think it was YOU who told me that when I was having problems with YOU KNOW WHO. Anyways ... as always ... call me if you need to talk ok? :) Cheer up Redd ... or do your best to lead a resemblence of a normal life.

Woot ...

2006-08-28T18:32:00.000+08:00

... plug for Fang ... and for Broken Bridges. Muahaha ... Broken Bridges is awesome. Go see it!

Excerpt from The Star (August 28, 2006 - Star 2 page 13)

" Most of the actors moved easily in their roles. The beggar lady (Fang Chyi) with the incredible voice unfortunately had only a bit role."

Now I don't know what exactly a 'bit' role is ... but if it means SMALL ... it sure WAS for someone who has talent like Fang ... sheesh Joe ... :P hehhe ... Hopefully producers and directors will start taking note more ... and see Rene ... I TOLD you that that was Fang at the start :P

Clipped wings ...

2006-08-27T09:57:00.000+08:00

... has begun to affect my cousin and it seems to have taken root quite strongly. Isn't it amazing ... that in the quest for perfection, we end up shattering every possible conceived positive outlook that we ever had about ourself in the first place? Take my cousin Angela for example. She has developed in her mind, this 'persona' of perfection that needs to be fulfilled and she feels absolutely atrocious when it doesn't happen. She spirals deep down into some dark, cold hole that seems almost infathomable for someone to choose to be in. Reading her blog, most of the time, seems like a very ... cold and lonely place to be in. I feel sad that no one has yet been able to reach her ... because she feels like her main points on being DOWN and OUT most of the time is her failure to achieve or to be that 'all-rounder' and high - achiever that she feels she should be. I know where she's coming from ... and I can only hope that one day she can find it in her to look back at not just her failures, which is what is making and has made her such a wonderful and strong person that she is today, but also at her achievement - being a great, not perfect, grand - daughter, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, best friend, girl friend, staff, student, prefect, head - prefect ... human being. No one WANTS a perfect person ... people want the BEST person that you CAN be ... and 99.9% of the time ... you ARE that person Angela ... I just hope that you find that strength in you one day to realize that ... I am beginning to realize that about myself as well dear ... take everything that you come across in your stride ... it'll all work itself out in time. Trust me, ok? Love you always sweetie. :)

Broken bridges ...

2006-08-26T09:52:00.000+08:00

... can't never be mended. Or so that saying goes. This dramatic theatre production by two local Ipoh-mali boys is simply astounding. I went for the show yesterday evening. Just getting to KLPac itself was an adventure in the making. Leaving Seremban at 4:30pm, I thought that that would be sufficient time. Something kept bugging me to leave earlier, and I'm happy that I left a whole ... *drum roll* 5 minutes @ 4:25pm. Would you believe it ... the North - South highway was jammed from the Senawang exit till I reached the Seremban exit which took about 1 hour. *sheesh* but at the very least, it was because they were upgrading the roads to 4 lane highways ... which should be a welcome relief for the folks who are travelling to their hometowns every year at major celebrations ... I got stuck once ... at the end of Chinese New Year ... and I swore ... *&(#(*#%^#%@ that would be the last time that that ever, ever happens. Seriously ... I don't know how people who get stuck there everytime can tahan that ... EVER. LOL. Ok anyways ... getting back to my story. Reached KL @ about 5:00pm ... and then to get to The Ascott, shit ... that took another like ... 15 minutes, which wasn't too bad actually ... except for the fact that it was flooding on almost every road in KL City ... Dang Wangi, Munshi Abdullah and Sultan Ismail in front of The Sheraton. More on this later.

Hung out at The Ascott for a while ... still a nice serviced condo thingy ... and then left to pick Serene up at 6:05pm. SHIT ... the JAM started. Would you believe it ... Just to make a circle around the block (acround KLCC la) and to get to Sultan Ismail took us about 1 hour and 45 minutes. So we called KLPac (KL Performing Arts Center) to see if we could get a change of date on the tickets to tomorrow, would you believe it they started going on and on about procedures and lecturing US about being on time for performances etc?! The nerve ... seriously ... and then to top it all off ... this lady named Christina said if you come in late, you could go in with the rest of the audience after Intermission to which Jerry asked if we could get a 50% discount then since we are missing about 1/2 the show ... know what is the best thing NOW ... she said ... "...well the second half is better than the first portion anyway, so you won't be missing much." Hmm ... I wonder if the folks at KLPac know what kind of personnel they have selling tickets. No wonder the Malaysian Theatre is moving so SLOWLY if you have such people giving their opinions on productions to the paying public. *aih*

Now ... about the show itself. The best act for me ... ? Douglas Lim and Fang Chyi and Joanne Kam Poh Poh. Show stealer for me ... ? Joanne Kam Poh Poh and her legion of "ah sou's / tai tai's" describing how a lady should behave and act when on a date with a man. Show stopper for me. Hands down. Muahaha ... most dramatic and gut wrenching ... ? May Ling's 'abortion'. DOn't want to spoil it for you ... but AWESOME show. Also, it was amazing to watch and listen to the whole production especially during the (yes, I learnt something new from Fang last night over Dim Sum) splicing - everyone singing a different chorus in groups at the same time. And the LUNGS on Douglas Lim ... *phWoar* don't play play man. I so couldn't imagine him as Ms. Redd's English professor in High School. Go and SEE and SUPPORT this musical. It's SO worth your RM60.00. Seriously. It's on until September 2rd, 2006. Go on ... you know you want to. Visiting KLPac is in itself a treat at Sentul West because of YTL's projects going on. Amazing. Starlight Cinema was also hosted there. Can you believe that all this was because of Broken Bridges - The Musical? An amazing show ... go watch it ... Broken Bridges - The Musical. Written by Lim Chuang Yik and Teng Ky-Gan.

Family's fun ...

2006-08-23T22:01:00.000+08:00

... a lot of times, having a large, extended family is a huge amount of fun. Especially when family's are from different backgrounds / countries / cultures ... take for example Jessica, my lovely cousin, who has two absolutely adorable sons ... Loken and the new Dylan. I've only met her twice, but she's been GREAT those two times and my Mom and Pops have nothing but great glowings of lovely statements for her. Isn't family grand? :) And then of course, there's Aunty Karen, a fun loving spirit who is just hankering to have fun all the time ... at least, whenever I'm with her I have a great time! :) She's also very funny and loving and caring. That's for sure. Seen here with my Grandma McConnell. *sigh* Isn't my mama gorgeous? he he he ... see my previous post on "Cam-whoring" muahaha ... told you I came from a good looking gene pool.

Cam - whoring ...

2006-08-20T12:23:00.000+08:00

... is a new hobby of mine. Phwoar ... before you get your panties in a wad :P take a chill pill. I'm NOT going out and becoming a 'duck'. I'm just taking closeups of my face, which I have been blessed with because I come from a great gene-pool of good looking people. *ahem*

Some people may disagree, and that's their own perogative. I think I look good ... and when I lose more weight, I'll be drop - dead gorgeous! Muahah ... yes, ladies and gentlemen, that distant sound you hear is in fact me, blowing my own trumpets for all their worth! He he he ... if no one's going to do it, I might as well right? Photos and effects courtesty of my Dad's new and phwoar-terror Macbook Pro featuring Intel's Duo Core Processors *ahem* plug for Apple and Intel here ... sponsors please take note. He he he ... I wouldn't mind a complimentary, totally pimped out brand spanking new Macbook Pro myself ...

Dinner ...

2006-08-20T11:45:00.000+08:00

... and a play is definitely one way to de-stress after a long two weeks of a dry spell in sales. Met up with Jerry and Serene at Chilli's (which by far, still has better burgers than Friday's - sorry, but that's what I've experienced ... and I'm still a fan of both) and their ribs are to die for, but I was watching a play and didn't want to sleep and opted for the "Bacon Ranch Burger", which was, to say the least, mouth-watering. Yum. Seriously yum. And it wasn't all streaky and dripping juice like Friday's stuff - just my opinion and experience. No suing please :P.

I've always wanted to go for a Broadway show in New York, and until I save up enough money, I'll make do with local plays, which I have not been for before, because I am sorry, but I am or rather, USED to be one of those Malaysians who cringed at seeing our local artistes doing their thing. That was until tonight - I went to watch the "Two Of Us", which was a 2 - part play, with the 1st portion starring two delightful young people (I didn't catch their names) on a 2nd honeymoon with a twist, little baby has tagged along. The 2nd portion, starring Joanna Bessey (awesome and gorgeous) and Rashid Salleh (cute in the DUH way) doing multiple roles really cracked me up and they had the Cockney accent down to a T. Nothing ... pretentious about it and it was like 75% Caucasian audience - which I thought was a little sad, so little Malaysians supporting their local artistes (Yeah, I should be one to talk LOL ... well, at least I WAS there and I paid for my ticket right?). So ... everyone who reads this ... whenever you have the chance, you may seriously want to consider paying a visit to The Actor's Studio - Bangsar Shopping Complex and catch a show ... it'll be worth the ticket charge. I enjoyed myself tremendously ... and felt much better after that show. Which was a funny story. My brother asked me if I wanted change for parking / or to pay at the same station as the one that they were at ... I said it's ok because there's one on the level that I parked at ... so I went down ... only to discover that I had only 50's in my wallet. Shit. Called him and Serene, but they still had their cells on silent ... brilliant. Can you imagine me skulking around the complex at 11pm looking for a store to break a 50? Lucky Coffee Bean was still open and I got a Hot Chocolate (yum) and got my change. (yay). :) End of drama for the day! :)

Caitlin ...

2006-08-20T11:05:00.000+08:00

... continued post.

She's such a gorgeous baby and my brother, Serene and I have planned to go and drop in on the proud parents next weekend. So be ready for us Caitlin! Adrian's got this cool new website up, check it out at "The Narayanan's Homepage".

Here's a pic of three generations ... great - grandma, grandma and grandchild. Mama's asleep somewhere nearby ... he he ... I bet that Christine was dead tired Man ... :P I hear that there's a lot of pushing involved :P I am for one, not envious of the job and have great respect for mother's all around the world ... esp. my gorgeous Mama ... seen here with my two erm ... nephews in US ... Dylan is the new baby and Loken is his elder brother. More pictures to come ... isn't she just gorgeous? And doesn't my Pops look oh so GRAND! :) Muahah .... just crazee me and my super family in the US ... :P

An angel has arrived ...

2006-08-02T18:44:00.000+08:00

... and her name's Caitlin. She's simply the most adorable baby that I've seen in a while. God ... she's got a full head of hair, wide open eyes and a cute yawn! Granted I haven't made a trip over to the hospital ... but you know ... me and hospitals don't really get along that well! :)

Anyways, this is what the happy looks like on Caitlin's birthday ... I can't believe just how far developed this baby is ... isn't she just yummy? LOL.

Great Book ...

2006-07-11T19:21:00.000+08:00

but a crap movie. They could've made such great use of the talents that they had ... but sadly, it was sad and mangled movie. Only Sir Ian McKellan did the movie some justice. *phew* ... and I know that this post is way late, but it was for sure one that stuck in my mind because I hate it when people totally KILL and BOTCH up books - to - movies projects. Don't bother getting the original DVD either ... sigh ... stick with the written word.

Stupidity ...

2006-07-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

I used to think that I could not control my spend-thriftness and I was right, to a point. I was not aware that I had a problem. I figured that as long as I had some money coming in that I could cover it, conveniently forgetting last month's purchases. Needless to say, I got myself into some pretty tight spots when it came to money.

So I started a savings fund for 1stly myself, and that seems to going well, untouched and alive. Secondly, I started a second fund for my once a year holiday overseas, which was cancelled this year as my lady boss said that I couldn't go as the Company needs all hands on deck to bring in more sales. So fine, referring to the previous post of being pissed off, I demanded that all the money be transferred back to me, which she did. Anyways, now that I have the money, I found the great temptation to pay off my credit card, which I have resisted, telling myself that I will be earning back enough to pay it back on schedule and that the money that I've saved (whilst enough to cover the whole bill) is meant for my HOLIDAY and that if I ever took it out was for investments that would MAKE money and not usurp it away!

I'm so proud of myself that I have managed this hurdle *clap clap* for me. :P And I'm so stupid to think that I couldn't handle my own money. I'm still new at this ... but I'm sure that I'll get where I want to be eventually!

Fucking pissed

2006-07-08T13:40:00.000+08:00

I'm so fucking pissed off with myself because I continually allow people to RULE my fucking life. I'm so fuckin annoyed with myself for letting people say / do things to piss me off ... and I'm so fuckin pissed that I don't do anything about it to stand up for my fuckin self. Fuck it!

First it started yesterday morning with my Dad calling me up and giving me a fucking hard time about not going for that stupid real estate seminar ... citing the fact that it was ME who was inquiring and INSISTING on a review ... fuck it ... I was asking if there was going to be a fucking fee for a review because if there wasn't, I'd like to be able to attend to refresh. Making it sound like I was fucking campaining for the thing is stretching the truth just a little in my fucking opinion. Then he sends me a text with big words like INTENTION and bla bla bla ... god just how self-righteous can one person get man? Geez!

So I decided not to go because I can't afford at the moment, and I don't intend to buy a property this year because I am still saving up for it ... so I don't see the point of going for it now. Fuck it, if I thought things were bad, they got worse ... firstly, my leave to go to Australia was denied by Pearly, so I have a fucking 3K sitting pretty in a bank. So I decide this morning that it would be good if I went to Penang for a short 2 - 3 days holiday and man was there hell to pay for that thought. It's like the moment I have fucking money, I'm not allowed to have a fucking FUCKING holiday and instead I get thoughtless FUCKHEAD comments like why do you want to spend money on hotels when you can go for a course ... like what the fucking fuck man fucker!!!! Why don't I just save all my fucking money to go for every single fucking course in the world ... would that make you fucking happy???@!@!@^!$*#%*&$&@#

Now, even to buy a fucking pen I feel fucking GUILTY because I could be saving the fucking cash to go for another fucking course. FUCK IT. FUCK THIS AND FUCK EVERYTHING. I should just fucking DIE.

I had a bad day ...

2006-07-07T11:53:00.000+08:00

... it really sucks when I know that I've been doing my best, yet, it would seem that I too, like all the billions of other human beings on this planet need to WAIT because of that darn Law of Gender for things to finally actually HAPPEN!!!

I'm sorry, but I felt so demoralized that all arround me, PO's kept flowing in like the Hudson River, only none of it was for me ... and sure I knew that I wasn't keeping my focus on the final outcome, I just chose to wallow in sorry and misery and was totally engulfed in my sadness. I felt like imploding hence the picture <-- that you see on my left. But of course, being the drama king that I am, I finally calmed down in the evening before taking Kelly and the rest of the gang out to Banting for some delectable seafood ... yummy ham-tan crabs and salted beggards chicken and tom-yam kai lan ... oOo ... the list well ... doesn't go on ... but kinda just ends there!!! :) I also know that I was ready to about kill anything that pissed me off ... and it was kinda good that I didn't have the powers of one of my favourite X-Men, Storm, as I probably would've decimated anything that moved.

Going to the chapel ... and I'm gonna get ...

2006-06-24T13:59:00.000+08:00

... married ... well, not me, but my cousin, Michelle, who was, I must say, resplendid in her gorgeous wedding gown and she didn't have that annoyingly long train behind her, which to date, I still don't know what it's supposed to signify!

It was in the church that I attend (yes, yes, I do occasionally attend church now, but my absence so far in the Lord's Home is another blog entry on it's own :P) Saint Francis Xavier, which is currently an interesting shade of ... orange like the color of the "Publish Post" button at the bottom of this editing page that I'm currently on.

Ain't she just the prettiest you ever set your sights on? I guess all ladies look fabulous on this 'once-in-a-lifetime' experience. I've never seen her smile that much before though ... LOL ... she's was just like ... non - stop, she could've been doing an advertisement for Darlie or Colgate ... *hush* ... I shouldn't be teasing her ... :)

The dinner reception was lovely, this is my brother and his girlfriend, Serene, who incidentally works in Gucci Malaysia ... so anyone needing Gucci stuff, please, please go call her ok? Oh yeah, and for those who are wanting to buy ORIGINAL Guess items marked down to 70% or more, you can go to "End of Seasons" store in Damansara Jaya, same row as Maybank, as my stepmom's store is there ... there's one more in Queen's Park, opposite Carrefour in Peel Road, KL, for you KL-ites.

The lovely couple paid for loads of rooms for us family members at the Crown Princess Hotel in KL. Nice hotel, they had a lovely suite to themselves on the 31st floor ... great view definitely! A little drama with my Nanny, which resulted in Godpa, Aunty Mon, Aunty Monica, Uncle Nara, Suzanne and myself to be in HUKM (in Cheras) at 1am to dawn with Nanny as she had complications in her ahem ... intestines etc. :P Eat better Nan! :) and hope you're feeling better! :) Following are some pix of the family ... enjoy!

Aunty Mon with her cool summery hat looking thing! :) That's Natalie in the background ... I haven't seen her in 10 whole years, and I was mighty please to see her again in Jo and Tom's home the other day ... she sure has grown TALL though ... wonder what's in the Australian water ... lol

This is Aunty Anne, who is one of the most photogenic people that I've come across ... my mum and her suuuureeeeeeeeeee do look a lot like each other huh? :) Refer below for my Mama's pix ... :)

This is Kevin and Suzanne ... two of the many cousins that I have ... Kev used to be a fat boy (LOL), no, seriously, that was his nickname ... now he's one of the most successful people that I know ... He's going off to Kellog's Business School for the Fall Semester ... and that's supposed to be one of the most prestigious and difficult business schools to get into after Harvard. :P He's like ... a walking money minting machine LOL. Plus he's super - nice and humble and down-to-earth and etc etc etc ... ok, He's really like the family Superman LOL ... and family's important to him too, which is a plus ... for you ladies out there ... sorry ... unless you're in Aussie / USA ... it aint' gonna happen man :P Suzanne's a gorgeous Eurasian babe who has pretty high standards I reckon when it comes to men ... LOL ... so far not many of the other sex has been able to measure up with her requirements ... I guess if the saying is true, that a lady looks for a man who reminds her of her father, Uncle Nara is a pretty difficult man to emulate LOL :P He's such an enigma ...

Adrian, daughter Amelia and expecting Mom Christine paint a picture of happiness and their home is simply ... LOVELY. It's so homey and Skelchy - like LOL ... if there was such a thing actually. It's pretty nice to be there ... and Christine's such a gem and I'm so happy for them as they expect a baby girl ... If I'm not mistaken.

This is Aunty Dine and yours truly. I don't take many pictures of myself ... because I don't photograph very well, as you can tell from this picture HA HA HA ... so please, yes I know it's so plastic ... but that's the best smile I could conjur up :P so quit complaining ... Isn't Aunty Dine simple gorgeous??? She's got one of the best smiles that I've ever seen ... so sincere and loving and compassionate ... if you're wondering WHY the pictures are all grayscale ... I just feel that people photograph better in monotone ... :) so there! :) Sue me!!!

The Matriach of the Skelchy clan ... Nanny ... Mary Theresa Skelchy! Isn't she still gorgeous after all these years?

Early Pressies

2006-06-14T23:13:00.000+08:00

Early birthday presents have landed on my lap this year ... yay! :o)

First on the list is Papa's Canon Digital Camera ... *woot* ... never expected that from him! Thought it was going to be an angpow or something!!! It's probably because of the Digital Photography course that we both went for and the teacher said that I had a 'natural' and 'creative' eye ... Phwoar ... first time EVER a teacher is praising me man!!! LOL !!! Here are some shots from that course ... I think I will plan a photography holiday to start taking more pics .... like *phwoar* I think for the first time, I'm actually good at something!!! LOL.

Spring cleaning ...

2006-05-20T18:28:00.000+08:00

... is FUN, FUN, FUN when everyone chips in and we manage to do SO much! :)

This is my workplace ... :P Nice, eh? It took forever to get it cleaned up ... can you believe how much garbage piles up even after you spring clean every quarter? *tsk* *tsk* I'm so happy with the new office ... it really DOES look like an office should now especially the SALES area, which is by far, in my opinion the best room in the building, but then again, I am biased (yeah, yeah, I'm being a bitch, but so what!) seeing as how I decorated ... ha ha!

My fish tank ... for some reason, it keeps getting YELLOW, and I can't seem to figure out why. I change 50% of the water when it gets this way ... and it stays clear for a couple of days and then BOOM! it gets all yellowish again. Maybe it's in the food ... *gRuMbLe* anyone know anything about this?

*phWoAR* ... yeah, I had the same feeling too! :) 90% my pictures *woot* ... ya lah ... self praise when no one else dishes it out yeah? :) What to do! Isn't it just friggin awesome!

Write more in the next post ... :o)

Healthy, but overweight?

2006-05-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

Went to a website that calculates your weight etc ... so seeing as how I like the worst case scenario (I've been on 5 scales, each with different weight measurements, the lightest being 104kg and the heaviest being 113kg) I decided to go with the 113 kg and I got the following results. *sigh* at least I know where I stand, and how much more weight I need to lose. :) Think I'm doing good though as I've come down from 300 pounds. :P I was a little whale back then. Ha ha.

Height: 6' 1"
Weight: 248lbs
Waist: 42"
Neck: 17"
Moderate Lively activities - one hour a day
My BMI: 32.9kg/m2
Waist to Height Ratio: 0.58 (Have no idea what this is for)
Percent of body fat: 26.4% (!!!)
Lean Body Mass: 182.5lbs

You are overweight by 27.1kg (59.6lbs)

Well ... at least I know where I am. :)

Woot! - cont...

2006-05-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

Ok, I know that I'm also a camera whore :P, but c'mon ... a 67% look alike as Bae Yong Jun?! I HAD to put this in! :) he he ... the dude is HOT. Nuff said.

Woot!

2006-05-12T21:12:00.000+08:00

Managed to sneak in some blog time today ... was over at one of Charmaine's 'son's' blog - http://h3lix17.blogspot.com/

I must tell you that I found this interesting website called MyHeritage and I was so entertained by it. I uploaded my blonde days pictures and it said that I looked like a 63% version of Leslie Cheung, which kinda made me go WOAH ... that's cool. I also made a 56% Chester Bennington, who I have no clue who this person is until today. Apparently he's the lead singer for Linkin Park. Go figure. Not my kinda music. Must be the blonde hair :P I also resemble (51%) a certain Mr. Javier Perez de Cuellar, who was the Peruvian Diplomat and the 5th Secretary - General to the United Nations. Cool, eh?

The circle of Life ...

2006-04-29T14:10:00.000+08:00

Isn't it interesting that it's usually at a major event in life that a lot of people become all philosophical and wise and come up with like really profound sayings and so on? I chose the Lion King because it talks about two of life's major events - Life and Death.

As I am typing this, I am indeed very grateful to be alive, to be able to breathe and talk and walk and be continually surrounded with family and friends.

This morning, Pearly's mom passed away. She was 80+. Don't know yet what she died of, but I'm sure that the family is happy that she is no longer in pain etc. I reckon the same feelings were felt by me and my family when Ah Mah passed away. I just hope that Pearly has continued reserved strength and love in her to pull her through this, which I'm sure she will do.

Just want to offer my condolences to you Pearly, and your lovely family as well.

Love from,
Kenneth.

Energy ...

2006-04-29T07:17:00.000+08:00

Liyana's not coping too well with her stress as her O-Levels approach. So we all had a little gathering of people who knew and loved her and did a little healing session.

It was an interesting gathering of people and as Hon Ying started to lead us through it, it was more like a 'transfer of energy' and he erm ... 'opened' up my palm chakra and told us to focus on our third eye opening. Now, I had like an active imagination, and I was like surprised, because instead of seeing like an eyelid oepning etc, it was more like a lotus, but with two petals on either side, opening up to reveal a fiery red centre, and it was ... so awesome.

Anyway, I saw Liyana lying in bed, but instead of seeing her head, like 80% of other people did, I saw her right hand, and focused on healing that part, seeing as how she offered that up to me instead of her head :P.

Anyways, I hope that she's feeling better now. Get well soon Liyana and come home. I miss you! :)

A great show ...

2006-04-23T21:17:00.000+08:00

An Unfinished Life. Great pace, nice introduction of characters. I think Griff is very raw and in your face in this show esp. during her showdown with J.Lo in Nina's house. I don't know, and I haven't bothered to do an online research on whether it's an Indi movie ... simply because it looks so ... 'low budget' but it's really nice and has great breathtaking views very much like in Brokeback Mountain.

It was so worth my RM9.00 to watch this movie. No regrets. I think my taste in movies is changing ... *sigh* goodbye Harry Potter ... :P

Check it out for yourself and you'll see a very ... mature drama.

Reviewing Is A Great Tool...

2006-04-23T20:55:00.000+08:00

I'm just back from my buddy team's quarterly retreat. Well, actually, it's actually my 1st ever retreat to do what we did there. It was kinda sorta like LCW, but with 9 people and all the intensity into 1 1/2 days. It was friggin awesom! :o)

The main thing that was impactful for ME, was the review in which we were supposed to review our goals. I have TWO, of which one is Health and the other one is Financial. The reason that I chose these two goals are simple:

1. In this world, for all tha good that I want to do to serve all the people, I sure as hell need money to do that. I will need money for food, for shelter, for building schools and clinics, for clothing and for hiring people.
2. I will not be able to do all this without a healthy mind and body. I can't be at my best when I'm tired, wiped out, under the weather and down and out of it. It doens't work that way!

Now, back to my explanations ... reviewing the golas made me realize, that although I was now more financially ... less burdened, by not having to pay my car loan / credit card debt, I have discovered, with the review that I have not changed my spending habits and that I have been ... mis-spending my money and buying things that I don't really need, but by justifying it by saying that I am buying a book or a piece of stationery etc. Talk about sticking my head in the sand man!!!

I'm not permitted to share more on what transpired at Magic River, but suffice to say ... if you HAVE goals this year, it's a strong suggestion of mine to review those goals of yours quarterly ... track them, because I didn't and now that I've reviewed mine, I am so going to track them!!!

I'm Back ...

2006-04-15T17:54:00.001+08:00

Hey!

It's April ... Lordy ... I can't belive that the first Quarter of 2006 has actually finished! :o) Sheesh ... talk about time flying by, huh!

Well ... what's new ...? Hmm ... well ... let's see.

My mum's going to be certified "Cancer-Free" this December! Yay! This is a picture of my beloved Gumby ... ain't she a looker? In all sense of the word? :)

And this is me ... don't I look like my mama as well? I'll get a pic of my papa and you can compare :P

Found a great new 'senior' blog that is oh-so-very interesting ... in my humble opinion, that is. Check out http://www.karencheng.com.au and you'll see what I mean.

Life has taken a turn for the more ... interesting I'll say since 2006 started. Firstly ... I've paid off my car! Woo Hoo! :) How cool is that?!?!?!?! And I cleared my single and only Credit Card debt and really, although I have charged a little in the month of March ... it's for a good cause ... my Mommy ... :P So ... it's a good thing for me. AND ... it was not for something that was fanciful or anything like that, but more for the Health benefits ... more on Melilea (http://www.melilea.com/) later and how it's worked out for her.

Talking about Mom, she's in Australia ... somewhere in Brisbane, no less, visiting with Nanny and Godma and the rest of the Hoo clan ... yes, I have family all over the world ... it's a great way to save on hotel money, doncha know? :P I'm so happy for her and Vance (my stepdad) because she's been planning this trip for like ages ... literally ever since she got to the USA and became a citizen. It's Vance's first overseas trip and this was the ONLY place in the world that he really wanted to visit and I'm so happy that he's finally able to get to go there.

It was so cute because Mama has been planning this like surprise visit there and I don't know how it worked out because over the months, as the time approached, she let part of the cat out of the bag and so did I to Godma ... and bla bla bla ... all in all I think the only person who was really surprised was Nanny and my mama when first, Godma turns up at the airport to 'surprise her surprise' and secondly, Nanny couldn't believe her eyes when she saw my mama standing on her doorstep ... man I'd give anything to be there with them at this point in time ... but it's ok ... all things for a reason.

You know, although I spend countless hours in the office and a just a few at home, while I do know that family and friends are important, but ... I don't know ... I just want to really work hard NOW so that I can so enjoy life later. And even as Nanny and Mom were giving me a play by play on the events that transpired, and even as tears kinda welled up in my eyes and I felt my heartstrings tug, I knew that one day, all this sacrifice would be worth it. I could do what I really wanted and buy what I really wanted for me, my family and friends and life will be even better. Life is GREAT now, and I'm certain that it can only get better! :)

God ... as I'm sitting here ... and typing this post, I so wish that there was a way that I could transfer all these feelings of ... such great joy and gratitude for all that has been, all that is and all that will be for me. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me, such is His nature, but it will always be for the best of me. For once in my life ... I really feel that I am blessed to be surrounded by such people who love me ... they actually do, and they accept me for all that I am. For once in my life ... I actually believe it. Finally.

Goodbye 2005 ...

2006-01-05T08:18:00.000+08:00

... Hello 2006! :o)

It's been a great year people! :o) For me at least. I reckon that 2005 was probably at par or better at throwing lessons of Life my way. It sure was not fun being in the moment of Life's VERY challenging lessons.

I haven't been online blogging in a VERY long time and I suddenly realised that I haven't been ... 'venting' enough and it's been building up. :P

Well let's see how I'm going to do this.

My relatives, the Mallaks, came down in December and they're guests of honor in Hotel SS1, namely, my room. :o) I've taken to sleeping on Jerry's floor (his plush carpet kinda makes up for the lack of a bed for me.). However, I know that he IS fussy about his room and more often than not, I do my best to keep it anally clean :P ha ha ... sorry Jerry ... you ARE anal about your room Man! :o) Just as much as I am about mine ... so I understand it. :P

The Mallaks ... well Uncle Sam about looks the same, I know that he's just as hilarious as he always was. Aunty Nancy has gotten to be more ... erm ... beautiful as a human being ... as in ... she's radiating peace and happiness and it's not everyone that can do that.

The boys ... now the BOYS are something to talk about. Ha ha. Roger and Mason are so grown up and I really didn't recognize them when I came back. I mean of course I knew what they looked like and that was like when they were about 5 & 7 years old you know? Roger's a grown up man now doing Pharmacology and Mason's in his last year in HIgh School. Both are good looking boys and keeping in line with the family tradition have hair that is almost like a wire brush ... curly as hell and just as dark. :o)

Well ... anyway ... Christmas was in Penang ... with the Mallaks ... the company was great ... the venue wasn't. I mean ... I thought that Dad would be springing for a swanky 5 star hotel room ... but we kinda shacked up and roughed it out in some dingy 3 bedroom apartment ... which was ok I guess ... but it was not comfortable.

I got of all things ... ta da da ... a coupon to spray my car from Dad and a name card holder from Kelly. :) Cool beans ... oh and yeah ... an electric toothbrush ... which I'm still getting used to by the way ... I dunno ... it just feels so WEIRD. You know what I mean?

Well ... will write more soon ... :P

I'm grateful to live here ...

2005-10-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

I never really thought about just how great it is to be living here in Malaysia. I'm so happy that I'm in a safe place that was spared from the Tsunami (mostly), earthquakes and hurricanes.

I was watching Oprah Prime Time the other night and I was so SHELL SHOCKED with what I saw. Can you believe that it's been about 1 month since the hurricanes swept through those states in US and there's almost NO AID to the poor folks there? Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Good Lord ... I mean ... it's the United States of America MAN! THE Country to live in bla bla bla ... and this is how they respond to their citizens in crisis?

What ... are the powers that be still having their stupid meetings to best tackle the situation? MORE ACTION, less talk is what I say. I can't believe they just ... *phew* ... no point complaining about politics anyway ... it'll never go anywhere. It just makes me so upset. I mean people are not only suffering ... they're ... dying. Do you comprehend that? Urgh ...

Books Galore!

2005-10-16T21:00:00.000+08:00

I have spent close to RM450++ this month on my favourtie obsession ... BOOKS!!! I just love that I can be magically transported to another world ... another realm at the blink of an eye and in one sentence I'm in Narnia, or I'm in Riva alongst with Ancient Belgarath and Lady Polgara.

I think I created this magical fantasy realm in my head to get away from the pressures of the daily grind ... even when I was a little kid. I used to be so absorbed in my books ... esp. Enid Blyton novels! Man, they used to be my breath of life ... The bunch of kids with the secret hideouts, Mallory Towers, Gollywogs, and talking bears ... simply magical.

My latest addition is The Chronicles of Narnia. It's starting out a little slow ... but it's rich with description and magic ... lovely! I've got like 5 more books waiting in line for me to finish them ... and they are mostly Self Development books ... which I'll get to eventually in the book club in the office (he he). I really do recommend this book to everyone by CS Lewis ... awesome stuff.

Wanna know somewhere else to read awesome stuff? Blogs. On Blogspot. Some people are really good writers. Wonder why they never write books? Here's a place to go to: http://wittlewabbit.blogspot.com and http://liquidstranger.blogspot.com/ are some great examples of great blogs. :) Ok ... got to go. Write more soon ... take all. Prayers of love, support and peace to all the people affected by the Earthquake in Pakistan. :(

Beautiful Sayings ...

2005-10-16T20:40:00.000+08:00

Got this from a friend ... I LOVE sayings in other languages ... makes it so ... yummy and poignant. For the uninitiated ... it's Korean ... so install the language pack ok? :)

Life is...
삶이란...

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air.
인생을 공중에서 5개의 공을 돌리는 것(저글링)이라고 상상해 보자

You name them: work, family, health, friends, and spirit, and you're keeping all of them in the air.
각각의 공을 일, 가족, 건강, 친구, 그리고 영혼(나) 이라고 생각하고 모두 공중에서 돌리고 있다고 생각하자.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
얼마 되지 않아 일이라는 공은 고무공이어서 떨어뜨리더라도 바로 튀어 오른다는 것을 알게될 것이다.

But the other four balls - family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass.
그러나 다른 4개의 공들(가족, 건강, 친구, 그리고 영혼(나))은 유리로 되어있다는 것도 알게될 것이다.

If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same.
만일 당신이 이중 하나라도 떨어뜨리게 되면 떨어진 공들은 상처입고, 긁히고, 깨지고 심지어 흩어져 버리게 되어 결코 다시는 전과 같이 될 수 없을 것이다.

You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.
당신은 이 사실을 이해하고 당신의 인생에 있어서 이 5개의 공들의 균형을 잡기 위해 고군 분투해야 한다.

How?
그럼 어떻게 균형을 유지 할 수 있단 말인가?

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
당신 자신을 다른 사람들과 비교함으로써 당신 자신을 과소 평가하지 말아라. 왜냐하면 우리들 각자는 모두 다르고 특별한 존재이기 때문이다.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
당신의 목표를 다른 사람들이 중요하다고 생각하는 것들에 두지 말고 당신 자신에게 가장 좋다고 생각되는 것에 두어라.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
당신 마음에 가장 가까이 있는 것들을 당연하게 생각하지 말아라. 당신의 삶처럼 그것들에 충실하라. 그것들이 없는 당신의 삶은 무의미하다

Don't let life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
과거나 미래에 집착해 당신의 삶이 손가락 사이로 빠져나가게 하지 말라.당신의 삶이 하루에 한번인 것처럼 삶으로써 인생의 모든 날들을 살게 되는 것이다.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
아직 줄(give) 수 있는 것이 남아 있다면 결코 포기하지 말라(give up). 당신이 노력을 멈추지 않는 한 아무것도 진정으로 끝난 것은 아무 것도 없으니깐...

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us together.
당신이 완전하지 못하다는 것을 인정하기를 두려워 말라. 우리들을 구속하는 것이 바로 이 덧없는 두려움이다.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn to be brave.
위험에 부딪히기를 두려워 말라. 우리가 용기를 배울 수 있는 기회로 삼으라.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
찾을 수 없다고 말함으로써 당신의 인생에서 사랑의 문을 닫지 말아라. 사랑을 얻는 가장 빠른 길은 주는 것이고, 사랑을 잃는 가장 빠른 길은 사랑을 너무 꽉 쥐고 놓지 않는 것이고, 사랑을 유지하는 최선의 길은 그 사랑에 날개를 달아 주는 것이다.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
당신이 어디에 있는지도 모르고 어디로 향해 가고 있는지도 모를 정도로 바쁘게 삶을 살지 말아라.

Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
사람이 가장 필요로 하는 감정은 다른 이들이 그 사람에게 고맙다고 느끼는 그것이다.

Don't use time or words carelessly.Neither can be retrieved.
시간이나 말을 함부로 사용하지 말아라. 둘다 다시는 주워 담을 수 없다.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
인생은 경주가 아니라 그 길을 한 걸음 한 걸음을 음미하는 여행이다

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a gift: that's why we call it - Present.
어제는 역사이고, 내일은 비밀이고 그리고 오늘은 선물이다. 그렇기에 우리는 현재(present)를 선물(present)이라고 말한다.

I'm just tired

2005-10-14T08:04:00.000+08:00

You know ... I think I'm beginning to feel the beginnings of 'burning out'. It's like coming to the office is a drag, no matter how many times I fire off my Anchor Point. Even going into my room in the office is such a big burden. I'm just going to release all my yuck berries here, then I'll look for more things to be grateful for.

I hate that I've positioned myself as the default IT person in the company ... Yes, I KNOW I created that ... doesn't necessarily mean that I like it. It's absolutely amazing how people just refuse to try anything once there's someone who can fix the problem for them ... It's as if the brain went dead.

I feel drained everytime that I get a call and a nice, big, fat chilli is handed to me and I can even feel the heat just radiating out over the phone.I actually feel even more tired, after having to apple-ize myself while the chilli is being manufactured.

I think it's absolutely astounding that Ida is still bitching about the Company AND she's still playing the same old broken record about how she wants to leave the Company. Man ... how many more YEARS can you play that record for!!! She's really, really getting her dollar's worth out of that record! If you're not happy, and you keep telling yourself to leave ... PLEASE DO IT already ... you're causing us enough misery you know?!!!

I think it's amazing that Jasmine never listens to any of us except David, cause she's terrified of him. It's like she's "Miss Know It All" + "Miss I'll Be Ditzy When I Want" all rolled into one amazingly gorgeous package. Too bad she's not my type though ... she's a nice enough girl when she's being all ... above.

I hate it when I'm being told off that I'm too slow, too lazy, too something ... whatever by Pearly everytime that I think that I'm doing better. It's like ... there's absolutely no pleasing her. I know that she has extremely high standards ... sometimes I wonder if I was ever designed to reach her standards. I probably am ... and I'm not seeing it yet. But still, it's nice if she gives me a bone once in a while and a little pointer.

Sigh ... I'll be feeling grateful sometime soon today.

September ...

2005-09-27T22:49:00.000+08:00

Ahhh ... September ... the wonderful month where the temperatures begin to cool down and the days get shorter. You're not sweating like a pig ... well... actually ... being in a tropical country, you kinda do that everyday anyways ... so never mind.

Anyhoo ... David finally got hitched ... yeah ... Yvonne finally snagged Vibracon's Romeo ... *cOuGh* *cOuGh*. It was a very ... erm ... rushed occasion actually ... in my own humble opinion, that is. I guess it IS a sign of the groom being very nervous when he forgets to collaborate on trainings, forgets deliveries, forgets a whole buncha stuff ... I guess you can't really blame someone who just took a gigantic leap forward (?) in their life.

The wedding was a nice affair ... as far as Chinese weddings go. It was in a quaint little hall with the usual Chinese 8 course dinner, karaoke by unwilling guests, well ... two were willing participants at any rate ... and as usual ... YSL did a fantastic job of the song. Jason wasn't half bad as well. David's parents and grandfather however ... were a sight to behold ... they ... just looked ... unhappy to be there. Again ... this is my own observation :P.

I don't know ... I find less and less joy in talking to David nowadays ... I mean ... I love the guy ... he's a great guy and friend ... but something just boils my blood when I talk to him ... he's started his "I'll do the talking, thank you." attitude ... and it just drives me crazy. Sigh ... less talk is better with him at the moment. I do see how Pearly is working behind the scenes to save his money ... and the WAY he talks to her ... sighz ... seriously!!!

Anyhoo ... that's about David. I got my order from the Electronics company for 150K ... FINALLY. It was a great mountain to climb ... *phew* is ALL that I can say. It was the month of yet ANOTHER hurricane ... man, what is UP with the weather!!! Isn't the photo above amazing? My cousin, Jessica, from Oklahoma took that picture. I reckon she's a pretty talented lady. Her son's an amazingly cute little guy, for sure! Anyway, I'm sure that the people who passed on are being taken care of in a better place than where we are now ... and more power to them, I say!

Also, just came back from the Company Trip ... WOW! Loads of FUN is what I had ... with all the learnings and fun, fun and more fun! I reckon the most impactful part for me was the Peanut Butter River game, the Hoop and Balls game and the Blind Walk games. The one I totally enjoyed was for sure the PAINTBALL!!! Imagine shooting people for FUN, with little balls of paint. Man did they hurt, but it was fun for sure! I can't wait till I go back again.!!! Ok ... getting a little tired now ... will write more soon.

Yakkity Yack ...

2005-09-09T07:49:00.000+08:00

Talking. Anyone and everyone does it. It's a means of communication, of expression, of withdrawal etc etc. Anyone with the ability to talk, usually ... does. But that's all talking IS ... TALK.

I used to be and to a certain extent still am ... a person who just talks. What am I getting at? Talking about your goals and what you want to do about it etc is great, you're letting the world know what you want ... but what in Sam's Hill are you DOING about it? It's good that at least you HAVE goals, most of the world doesn't. Are your goals written down? Mine aren't. Deng. 3% of the population of the United States have written goals and it is this 3% that employes the remaining 97% of the population of USA. Isn't that amazing?

One thing that I've learnt in these past 2 years is this ... initially, when people don't know you or aren't that familiar with you, talk gets you a lot of mileage ... people go "Wow ... this person is amazing!". Then as time wears on ... and you're still ... talking. Trust me ... people KNOW. They're just nice enough to not say anything. So, contrary to what is widely believed, talking, presentation and pitching only gets you so far. Results in your job, your life, your whatever is what matters in the end. It all leads to inner happiness and peace and when you achieve THAT ... trust me ... you'll have MORE essence when you speak that you could lead armies of the world. Try it. :)

The Human Condition ...

2005-09-06T07:37:00.000+08:00

*Photos are courtesy of http://www.cnn.com and Associated Press. Please visit them for full news and features. I do. :)

Hurricane Katrina has been the talk of town for the better part of 2 weeks now. I didn't really pay attention to it ... it was just 'another' hurricane that churns off the coast of Florida for some time and blows itself out. But man oh man ... was it a shocker for me when I read Monday's The Star and saw the headlines with the picture of the devastation ... OMG ... this was like Tsunami part two. Looking at the wind whip across the surface of the water really sent chills down my spine as I remembered the way the winds blow in Oklahoma before a tornado .... 125 - 200mph winds are not fun things to listen to especially at night when all you hear are the trees creaking and your roof's about to be blown off ... :P

It really saddened me to a great extent they way the people at New Orleans had to resort to gunfire to protect themselves and their property as desperate people started looting, robbing (and for whatever reason) raping. There really isn't any reason good enough to justify RAPE and I really feel that all rapist should be castrated, their nails pulled out slowly, all their hair plucked out one by one ... anything to cause them the same hurt, pain and shame that was caused by them to the other person. It's amazing that the country that radiates and examplifies abundance, freedom and peace have a major internal war on their hands. The police men and women having to sit on the roof of their station to defend it ... really does say something.

But despite all the horror, suffering and strife that is ongoing in New Orleans and elsewhere in the US, there are moments of grace, honor and nobility. Like this picture.

It's not everyday in this little guy's life that a policeman takes time out from his busy day to read a story to him. That's gotta be a little sunshine in his life ... don't you think? With great tragedy comes great sorrow ... but it also comes with great pride, dignity and humility and a chance for the real human condition to shine through. It is in our darkest hour that our spirits shine through. :)

It's ...

2005-08-27T12:55:00.000+08:00

... a bright sunny day here in Rivendell. The skies are a bright corn blue, the clouds are scuttling across the sky with the hard winds driving them like a cruel slave driver. Whipping at them with invisible whips ... (hmm this is going somewhere else in my head :P)

Anyway, the haze is GONE *sob* *sob*. But I'm sure that it's for the greater good of mankind and all that ... *sob* *sob*. Ok ... on a serious note ... it's a good thing for all the people for sure ... it's not the best thing to have ash, soot and dust all floating in the air happily being sucked into your lungs ... :o)

Anyways, today's the day that I move back into my parent's home ... the end of Independence as we know it ... no ... I'm just kiddin ... :P ... I miss my air conditioner and my washroom and my bed and ... well just being around family, you know? There's this saying ... "You can't choose your family ... thank God you can choose your friends ... !" and while I agree to that ... I must say that I DO love my family very much, although I find it difficult to articulate a lot of times.

I'm going to the Kuala Lumpur Convention Center's Aquaria tomorrow ... and I'm SO excited! :o) Ha! Ha! I've always wanted to go to giant aquariums ... like the one in Gold Coast or San Diego ... but *sob* *sob* unable to as yet ... and NOW I can go! See who I can drag along with me ... :o) He He He!

Continuation 1 week later ... ha ha ... yes yes I know. Anyway ... I didn't get to go to the damned aquarium because it's only 60% filled ... didn't think it was worth wasting my moolah seeing only 6 out of 10 fishes ... right? So I didn't go. Deng. Anyway ... a lot has happened since last week ... I still haven't gotten my big order from a flash memory company in Shah Alam ... :P. They're still waiting for this and that ... man ... I DID mention that they ARE buying a Rolls Royce and not a Proton Wira you know ...? I wonder why price always seems to be an issue ... but going by Buying Facilitation rules, I haven't been able to rapport well enough with the purchasing officer ... but she IS a really, really nice lady with a nice smile. Just wish I could figure out what makes her tick. Sighz ... will write more soon.

Peace to the world.

Happy

2005-08-24T23:23:00.000+08:00

I love seeing the glow of happiness in your eyes when you're happy. I tremble a little at the steel glint in your eyes when you get upset.

I feel safe and complete imagining myself with you and wished that you could feel the same.

This yearning in my heart's almost too heavy to bear, yet I know that I cannot divulge the song of my heart to you.

I wish you could see me and my soul and my heart and how much love it has for you. I'll sleep tonight dreaming of you.

I love you.

Taking a break ... to recharge

2005-08-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

I just looked back at the week that has gone by and I was kinda surprised and shocked that my last post was about a week ago! GAWD! Where'd the time go to man???

I spent the weekend just ... relaxing and got in some sleep ... but other than that ... just took some time out to rest, relax and enjoy myself. I watched some DVD's with Charmaine ... kinda like a little movie marathon going on. Anyways ... it sure was fun. It's 12:11am Monday morning now ... will be getting some shuteye soon. I feel totally ... relaxed ... tired, but rested ... does that make sense?

I have just finished watching the show "Million Dollar Baby" ... yes yes I know that I'm behind time ... but at least I finally got to it. It was an inspiring movie for me. I got goosebumps when Maggie didn't even flinch when Boss told her several times over that he wouldn't train her ... and she just kept coming back like the Plague to haunt him. That kind of passion ... that kind of determination and passion. Going ALL OUT FOR IT ... I must tell you ... Shit man ... I think I'm just starting on this journey that she took whole heartedly. I see myself firstly BEING so friggin financially independent ... no longer living from pay check to pay check and having to balance the bills ... which gets paid first and which doesn't ... I'm so determined to see my dream come true of prospering others (i.e. paying bills) and still having an abundance left over for myself to buy my house, to have a balanced, beautiful life, to start my foundation, to help others etc.

I'm up getting ready for work at 5:30 every morning and out of the house by 6:30am. I'm usually home by 8 - 10pm. I used to think last year ... what's the POINT in working my ass off and having nothing to show for it ... I just realized that I am the reason that I'm working my ass off. I've become stronger, wiser and more savvy. I know more about myself and what I can do and I can achieve when I set my mind to it. This would not be possible if the Bank of Daddy gave me a clean slate ... again. That probably didn't help me very much in college ... and I cringe thinking how spoilt I used to be. I'm happy that I no longer depend on Dad for money ... I can whack it out on my own. I owe him a lot ... but of course I just can't find it in me to actually tell him that. I dunno ... it's like I became entrained to his ... 'military' way of not talking about anything ... and he became ... all mushy. Shit. Talk about timing man. I used to be so tired and always complained and wanted to sleep more, to rest more etc. Shit man ... like Frankie Dunn said ... "Rest when you're dead". Man ... did he know how to put things into perspective.

I'm so happy and grateful that I got my head out of my ass and stopped feeling sorry for myself and moved up and up on my life ... I work hard and I know that at the end ... it'll be worth it. It is already rewarding myself in ways I never thought possible. I wish everyone else who wants this for themselves ... one day eventually finds it. I'm happy I found it when I was 25. I really, truly am.

Kyra Tan ...

2005-08-15T06:18:00.000+08:00

Today I got a glimpse at a cute, gorgeous little baby that's only a month old ... Cheryl and Elwin's little product. Kyra something something Tan ... I must say that I was feeling a little out of sorts ... (Don't snicker Maine :P) thinking about just how many of these little monsters I wanted.

Actually just touching her little fingers and watch her wiggle her little arms around helplessly is about enough to make your heart just go ... awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shucks. I think I want like 5 ... That would be an interesting household ... ha ha ha ... I see my home ... with my kids and my wife ... sigh ... it's a great feeling AT the moment ... hmmm I need to work harder now to get more money to actually GET my home in NZ and I need to expand Vibracon out to NZ ... although there's more sheep than people there apparently ... wonder if sheep will be into safety sometime? ha ha ha ... I kill me ... and since no one's reading this except me ... ... I get the jokes ... and that's enough. Ha ha ha. I hope that I actually meet someone before I'm 30 and start a family soon after that. Funny how I never really thought about this until very recently. I've become ... *gasp* a grownup. Damn. There goes the farm ....

Names ... have been thinking about THAT for a long time now ... I want one of my daughters to be named Marie Eliza Lim and the second will be names Claire Amelia Lim. My first son WILL be named Gabriel William Lim. I think that's a powerful name. I'd like those names ... ha ha ...

I get lost ...

2005-08-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

Have you truly listened to the music that blares over your speakers? Actually listened to each word and allowed each word to reverberate off your being ... your experiences ... ? This awesome song by Hoobastank (which rocks by the way) called "The Reason" has been my favourite song last year ... and surprisingly ... still is this year. I have yet to find another song that can rival its ... magic. I get lost in this song EVERYTIME I listen to it ... Evanesence's "Bring Me To Life" and "My Immortal" are also jewels from last year that is rocking my world still ... but read the words that I'll post below ... and get lost ... I did ... I am ... :)

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so, I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

I'm so in love with this song.

Awaken ...

2005-08-14T20:39:00.000+08:00

Awaken child ... your time has come.
Rise to your greatest heights ... your most unfathomable potential in life.
Uncloak your heart and soul and fuel your passion with commitment and drive.
Save your being from the death and decay of sloth and misguided thoughts.
But ... DO you have a soul?
Does your heart beat with each breath that you take?
What do you feel with each word that you utter?
Does your conscience prick everytime you see me?
Awaken child ... be not blind to your destiny.
Embrace your destiny and arise from the ashes as the phoenix rises from the ashes of yesterday ...
Awaken child.

Vortex of Pain ...

2005-08-13T13:43:00.000+08:00

Someone once told me that "Pain is an opportunity for growth".

I agree.

There is opportunity for the pain to grow bigger ... IF I choose for it to grow. At the moment, I'm feeling very slighted after David was really ... I actually can't describe it other than he was pissed and was very happy in letting me know that he WAS pissed. I really hate that tone of voice ... I've heard it from Dad and both Moms before ... and it really, really sucks ass.

Sometimes I really wonder why I bother to care about people so much ... when I myself put so much of expectations on that relationship ... it really doesn't matter WHO is in the relationship ... I just expect too much I guess ... I'm kinda like Jasmine in that sense ... a sense of perfection is a MUST for everything ... I really can't help it at the moment ... but because I do expect ... I am giving away my remote control to the person that I care about to hit my hot buttons ... and that's not a good thing ... I need to friggin find a way to get over this ... and QUICK.

Good intentions ...

2005-08-10T22:54:00.000+08:00

The haze is BACK with a vengeance.

I was wondering for about a week and a half now where the API (Air Pollution Index) rating was because it wasn't published in the newspapers like it was during the previous haze in '97.

For a couple of days there I thought that things were going to get better ... but ... as it wore on ... the smell in the air turned acrid ... almost sulphur like, if you will. Things really, really turned for the worse when visibility dropped to like 1/2 a kilometer ... and STILL the Department of Environment was ... shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

We sold a lot of respirators today for the haze ... namely the N95 standard respirators from 3M. Model 8210 for all you lovely detail-oriented phreaks out there ... They are actually known by a lot of my customers as the SARS respirator ... sigh ... as long as it's KNOWN ... that's good enough for me ... you know what I mean? :) Isn't simply amazing that something that small and simple is able to ... like you know ... keep some of the most important internal organs that we have ... SAFE. Amazing ... !

Oh yeah ... the reason that the API wasn't published ... ? The Government was afraid that it would 'hurt' the tourism industry like it did the last time ... can you believe it ... ? I mean, ok, I understand that tourism brings in a crap load of money for the country ... but seriously ... not publishing the API = no one talks about the haze ... ? Sheesh ... I mean I know we're a little SLOW ... but really! I don't think that tourists are going to be stepping out of the plane into KLIA, take a deep breath of hazey air and say "WOW! Honey ... have you smelt the AIR? ... Friggin awesome!" ... yeah ... I didn't think so too. Now I really understand the saying ... "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". Our Government ... in handling this issue is a classic example. :)

Love,
Ken.

Fabled Dreams ... ?

2005-08-08T20:11:00.000+08:00

Fabled dreams was something that popped in my head when I was thinking of a name for my website ... it never really took off ... and I really do regret that. The reason I chose Fabled Dreams ... was because that's what it feels like to have a dream come true ... because for me ... previously ... having dreams come true was something that only happened in the bed time stories that mama used to read to me when I was 3.

Now, all grown up, I wouldn't say that I am cynical or even realistic ... I'm just more ... aware that unless I have a true and noble purpose and intention for a dream ... and I work at it ... it'll never happen ... it'll always remain a Fabled Dream. Maine always chides me about working too hard and not having any fun.

Nothing to hide ... I'm luckier than most ... I don't owe the bank any money except for the occasional credit card charge ... but I DO owe the Bank of Dad ... a lot. So ... although it doens't charge interest, I still have that amount hanging over my head and I'm doing my best to clear it.

THAT'S why I'm working so hard Maine ... because my ultimate Fabled Dream is to build schools, colleges and universities in South Africa and India ... because with education, poverty can be a thing of the past. I want to build world - class medical facilities for the Third World nations that are FREE so that everyone can have equal access to medical treatment. I don't know how it's going to happen ... I just KNOW that it IS going to happen.

The reason that I want to do this is after watching an episode on Oprah and how she's working miracles as fast as she can in South Africa and following that was a special on Discovery on South Africa ... and it just BROKE my heart seeing children and adults in such a state of poverty that it's inhuman that we have so much here in Malaysia and we WASTE so much of what we have without a second thought. I want to see everyone around the world in an abundance of love, food, medicine if they need it, free from diseases and so on. Life should be enjoyable for them and not misery. I want to do that for the world for giving me the opportunity to be alive.

I believe that education will get the ball rolling ... and I plan to be at the forefront of that happening. Seems like a mighty big dream from a boy who's renting a room ... :P but I'll get it done.

Love,
Ken @ 8:26pm
8/8/2005

Express - Ways ... To or Not To?

2005-08-07T22:01:00.000+08:00

Expressing Yourself ...

Have you ever been at a point in time when your heart / soul / chest / entire being was just exploding to express itself?

More times than I care to count ... I've been in this situation and it's more than I care to handle anymore ... I mean ... if I've got something to say ... well ... by golly ... I'm going to say it!

If it's a simple ... "You're looking great today!" to the all dreaded "I Love You" ... deng it ... I'm going to say it. Too many times have I allowed my self - worth be determined by someone else ... well ... it's about to stop ... you'd better believe it!!!

If they've got a problem handling what I've got to say to them ... It's really not my problem anymore. If they're uncomfortable saying "I Love You" back and you KNOW who you are ... if I drop dead tomorrow ... I'm not the one who's going to be regreting it, that's for sure. So I wanna tell you now ... I LOVE YOU!

Love,
Ken @ 11:03pm
07/08/05

Conquering Mount Kinabalu

2005-08-02T07:48:00.000+08:00

Climbing Mount Kinabalu.

I never thought in my life growing up that I would actually scale that monster of a rock. Ever.
It looked intimidating just in pictures, much less the descriptions that have been provided in books, online etc.
Let me explain ... I'm not one of your extremely fit people ... I'm overweight, clumsy and not an outdoors kinda person ... that was before. I was 300 pounds, unhappy, depressed and wondering what in heaven's name I was doing with my life.

Then an angel came to my rescue ... in the form I least expected. My boss. Pearly Leong. She kept pressuring me to join her in climbing the hills in FRIM, Kepong until I became addicted to our Sunday morning jaunts. Exercise became like a .... drug. Sometimes I could fight it, sometimes I couldn't. Because of her inspiration, and by my meeting another inspiration, David, I now weight 230pounds and am aiming for 210 pounds.
It was during these climbs that my father also started coming along and one day, before I knew it ... there were about 10 of us climbing and we formed the regular Sunday morning group. One day, my father suggested that we climg Mount Kinabalu. Surprisingly ... no violent objections ... sure there were initial chillies ... but I actually was OK with the idea ... funny, huh?

Let me tell you ... the biggest lesson that I learned climbing that mountain was this ... I am my biggest obstacle. I stop myself from all my dreams, my goals. Getting healthier and slimmer and fitter ... it's ME who's in my way. No one else. And let me tell you ... getting to Low's Peak is NOTHING. It's the climb ... it's that DAMNED cliche ... "It's the JOURNEY that counts ... not the destination". Go figure. Sheesh. I HATE it when my Dad's right ... but then don't all kids? :P

Trust me ... in life ... it's YOU who gets YOU where YOU wanna go. No one else can walk the distance. Oh the revelations that I'm having nowadays ... I'll write more ....

This is a picture of the view from Low's Peak as I was coming down ... after staying on there for about 45 seconds ... have you SEEN the dropoff from the other side of Low's Peak? Wicked man ... has to be at least 4,000 feet ... I almost peed in my pants!!! LOL

Love,
Ken.

Perceptions

2005-08-02T07:46:00.000+08:00

I had to type up my perceptions of 10 of my fellow colleagues today. I was having writer's block because although I can write the pants off a newbie author, I didn't particularly enjoy having to write the bad stuff that I didn't like about my fellow colleagues ... but being an employee ... I just did it. We're going to talk about it and everyone has to share their writings with each other at the Company's meeting ... and I guess it's a double - edged sword. But I must admit that it was particularly liberating that I was able to say just what I thought about my immediate boss, although I had to edit it a few times ... I don't believe in digging my own grave ok? :)

Have you ever had the chance to actually say what you wanted to say to a person without inhibitions? I don't think I've ever given myself the chance before this. I've always wondered if I'd hurt someone, or if someone would be so offended or I might give someone a wrong hint or something. I wonder what it would be like if we were completely honest with each other at all times. I think it would be really uncomfortable at first ... but I feel that it would be good as we would know what that other person REALLY thought about us and we could work on it. We're not all psychics right? Man ... I wonder why I hesistated to do this in the first place ...

Peace ...

Love,
Ken.